Yesterday, my husband and I celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary. We have actually been together for almost 36 years. Though we both truly feel we are each other’s soul mate, marriage is never an easy journey, kinda like life. I am always shocked when couples give up so soon, but understand it is a lot of work to sustain a long term relationship, regardless of how much two people love each other.
Most times, things just don’t always fall easily into place all the time. Couples tend to forget what drew them together in the 1st place. Often, they gave each other the nourishment they each needed to flourish – this was truly the initial attraction and draw to each other. As time goes on and the relationship changes, this basic integral premise for the relationship is forgotten and lost, as well as some of the bond that holds the relationship together.
Marriage is hard work, just like life, and anyone who tells you different has probably never been married for any length of time, at least not to one person. Having said all that, I do realize there are times that it is necessary to give up and walk away, or run . . . depending on the circumstances.
Different subject –
I have pets and treat them as family. I also realize many people are choosing to have pets, as opposed to children. I can understand that, too. But, today was National Take Your Dog to Work Day. Seriously?? Enough said . . .
My girlfriend took me out for a few margaritas tonight. We went to a place I tend to frequent. The waitress, though not one of my regulars, must have recognized me and seemed to cater more to me, though sometimes she treated us both pretty sloppily. My friend complained to me, at the same time expressing how sorry she was for bitching about it. I reminded her she rarely gets upset over this kind of thing and I certainly understood how she felt.
When our waitress brought the bill, she handed it to me and I immediately handed it to my friend and said, “She’s paying tonight – that’s the kind of good friend she is!” The waitress immediately mentioned seeing me there previously with my family. My friend just laughed, and as the waitress walked off, said, “That isn’t going to help her tip any.” My friend did leave her more than 2 cents – a tip she has left when her service really sucked, which I think is funny as hell – but she didn’t leave her but maybe 10%.
When I get bad service to the point I am reducing their tip, I usually leave them a little note – what my husband calls a novel 😉 – on the receipt telling them why they were under-tipped. I do this to ensure they know why I didn’t tip them well and because management typically looks at the receipts at the end of the night. One time when I did this, the next time I visited that establishment, I got the same waiter and he apologized for his previous lack of attentiveness, promising a better experience. He did as he promised and got a great tip! (Okay, I did know the owner of this particular establishment, but . . .)
Point being – don’t make assumptions that can come back and bite you in the ass. Our waitress assumed I was paying and I always tip well – but this time I wasn’t paying and her lack of attention to my friend, and our table in general to some degree, cost her.
Last but not least, I have to mention something that was all over the news today. There is some guy who got arrested by the Stockton Police Dept. The police department has a Facebook page where they posted the pictures of him and a couple of other guys. This is getting national attention because the guy’s mugshot makes him appear to be quite handsome, in a striking sort of way – he does look like model material, big full lips and the most beautiful ice blue eyes. I am pretty persnickety when it comes to finding men handsome and even I thought he had striking features.
So as I am looking at his mugshot on TV and noticing how beautifully ice blue his eyes are, I also noticed he has a teardrop tattooed on the corner of his left eye, and I am fully aware of what that means.
I went and checked the FB page his picture is on and so far he has over 80,000 likes, over 10,400 shares and over 22,600 comments. Just like on the blogs, I find reading the comments to be amusing, interesting, eye-opening whatever. A large percentage of these likes, shares, and comments are about how hot he is, and how all these women want to do him and how he is so sexy, he needs to be set free, and other such bullshit. There has even been a GoFundMe page set up in his honor, and so far over $1800 has been collected in less than a day.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for redeeming oneself, and all that and I am not even passing judgment on him per say as I do not know the specifics of his arrest. What I am interested in is how society and its use of social media are spinning this story. I always find that aspect fascinating!!!
Anyway, all I could think of as I saw his mugshot was, I bet your heart is as icy as your eyes, and you have already marked yourself for the world to see with that teardrop tattoo.
For you ladies who think like this (OMG he is so hot . . . etc) – just remember – he might fuck ya, then be done with ya, and slit your throat – then again maybe not . . .
But why chance it.
I don’t know. Just some things I was thinking about today . . .
(P.S. – Though the service wasn’t the best tonight, the margaritas were awesome!!! 😉 )
Just something I was thinking about . . . 
32 years? Awesome!
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Thanks so much Rajiv & thanks for the follow!! It’s not always easy, but it’s always interesting, & I have more blessings & joy than I probably deserve 🙂 Looking forward to checking out your blog, too!
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True. My wife and I will hit the 24 year mark this year. My parents had 62 years before my father died. Even after 62 yeas, they reminded me of a young couple in love for the first time. It can be amazing.
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I’m impressed – your voice is much younger than your experience would suggest. Congrats on 32 years in a relationship – it gives me hope.
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Thanks Paul for the congrats & yes, there is always hope!! I have learned in my 32 (actually 36) years of being in this relationship that sometimes the worst poison a marriage can choke on is neglect – a lesson my husband & I learned early on. Is that good that my voice sounds younger than my experience would suggest? I was 16 when I met my husband, married him 4 years later, & a few years after that started a family. I am certainly no spring chicken, but not nearly close to retirement age either 🙂 I am young at heart (mostly) so maybe that comes through in my voice. I do tend to have a unique way of looking at the world & describing it at times! And when I am feeling uncensored, can be a bit raw with the language – I am the daughter of a sailor 🙂 I am still looking forward to the day you are blogging – I will be one of your very first followers!!
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Congrats on the 32! You passed pearl (30) and are headed for jade (35). It’s certainly doable, and I know many who’ve proved it. The other day, I was reading a post by a blogger celebrating silver (25), and my best friend and his wife have been together over 30. My parents nearly made it to platinum (70) except for my dad’s Alzheimer’s and that my mom died earlier this year. In so many ways it’s a conscious choice and effort of will to sustain a relationship. Sadly it seems one that many can’t or won’t.
I had a mediocre auto service experience this week, so now I’ll write an email to their service manager, copy the company (Ford) and maybe even mention it in a blog article in case I have any local readers. It’s really important to speak out about crappy service… these days it’s one of the only differences between products or companies.
As for how screwed up FB is… I’m increasingly convinced social media will play a huge role in the end of civilization. Nuf sed.
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Thanks Wyrd Smythe – my husband & I take great pride in this accomplishment, as it’s not always easy!! I’m sorry to hear about your parents – your dad’s illness & your mom’s passing but almost 70 years is just AMAZING!!! Good luck with the Ford people – give ’em hell! In college, I majored in Media Studies – Communication & I have to admit, I agree that social media may very well play a role in that endeavor . . . for all its advantages there are just as many if not more disadvantages. It’s truly all in how you use the tool!!! ☮
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Indeed, the interweb is a powerful tool almost beyond imagination. The concern I have more and more is how some tools can almost be too dangerous to use (e.g. atomic bombs). There is also that even good tools used the right way can reshape the user. When I played guitar, I had calluses on the tips of my left fingers.
It’ll be interesting to see what shakes out the other end, how this all turns out!
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Congratulations! 32 years! I like how balanced your perspective is – not easy, don’t give up too easily but yes, there are circumstances that warrant giving up and walking away, especially when there’s abuse and one’s life is in danger.
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Absolutely Alexis!! Thanks for reading & commenting! 🙂 (And thanks for the congrats!!)
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Congratulations on the marriage! We have a few more years than that and what you say is so true.
I heard about that mugshot Friday. I haven’t seen the picture. Surely when the word gets out about “tear drop” his popularity will decline somewhat, Although some ladies I’m guessin’ would find that tat as exciting as his good looks.
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DSS – thanks so much for the congrats!! Heard today this Meeks guy has gotten several modeling offers . . . and now has over 96,000 likes on his FB pic – though the frenzy seems to be slowing. TMZ was calling him Dreamy McMug. His bond is $900,000 I heard – so obviously a real bad dude – human nature and behavior continues to amaze me!!! I purposely didn’t share any of the links just because I didn’t want to promote him anymore. BUT I have been monitoring, just because it is so frickin crazy!! Thanks for reading & commenting – and congrats on all your years together, too!!
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Interesting. I saw that guy’s picture (yes, it made its way to the UK – just how far can penetrating blue eyes take you, I wonder?) … and thought exactly the same as you.
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Thanks for reading & commenting Jools!! Yeah, heard today several modeling agencies are interested in him. Here I am a law-abiding citizen with no record & not even a speeding ticket in over 22 years & haven’t been able to find a job in over a year . . . pretty sad . . .
Thanks for following!
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Happy anniversary!! A couple day late though. 36 years? Still something that eludes my mature mind…. I was having flashbacks when you said that marriage is work, flashback because you remind me of my mother!! She still keeps on going with that thing, it´s true I know, I also know I´m not cut out for that work, at least haven`t found “the girl” to put such work into it.
Funny guy your husband, living little “novels” to the waitresses as to why they didn´t get tipped…that´s a good one. I should try that. Never occurred to me doing that, and I have strange thoughts to say the least….;)
Nutty boy in facebook, I read that article and the facebook thing, couldn´t believe what these nut jobs of girls where saying, with quite explicit language they should have put R rated.
This guy is a repeat offender, part of a gang, was charged with assault, robbery, being the head of a gang that seems to run wild selling drugs to kids, just like his beautiful kid he has on his facebook page. You got to be kidding that these woman want this guy. Hey, if it´s to screw him, well you are a slut, but maybe he screws you and then robs you. He´s a repeat offender, doesn´t seem he´s going to change his ways, in his case is not to give him a second chance it´s giving him multiple chances. And back to the street to terrorise people that are not criminals, imagine the impact on you when you somebody sticks a gun in your face and give you a couple of whacks in the head, and steel your hard earn money. I´m just hope that with his pretty face he is the one who get´s to be the receptor or sexual intercourse with his cool friends up there in the play house. And those women, go figure. A bit slutty if you ask me.
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Just getting to this – thanks Charly! And I am somebody’s mother – LOL!! (Though I am truly not THAT old, and though I am somebody’s grandma, too – I don’t look like my grandmas did that’s for sure 😉 ) When the right girl crosses your path, you’ll know it. I just happened to find mine early on . . for a reason I am sure 🙂 And, as far as the comments on that guy’s pic – (“Icy blue eyes:) – yeah def a bit & some just outright slutty . . . women – what can I say – we don’t all have the same mindset thank goodness! I have always walked to the beat of my own drummer – has probably cost me a time or two, but proud of it just the same – wouldn’t change a thing 🙂
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And that is good to hear.
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Sadie – I am so glad I was able to read this post this week – and first – congrats on the anniversary (a bit late) and also – nice idea about leaving a comment on the bill – even if the waiter/ess prints a new one to turn in – well they still were informed and made aware of things – and that is so important for so many reasons.
lastly, wanted to chime in on the couples who have pets instead of kids, I heard they were called “DINKs” – for dual income – no kids – and hey more power to them – but in my experience people without kids have no idea of the immense joy that comes with parenting – it takes being a parent to feel it – and sometimes looking from the outside misses the wonder of what it has to offer.
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