Tag Archives: Abortion

What’s going on??

It’s been a while since I’ve been able to spend any time with my WP family. I have missed your posts and writing my own, as well. So much has been happening in the world of late, honestly more than I can keep up with some days.

The Supreme Court has been quite busy. I must admit, I am happy with much of what they have done. What other people do in their own lives that doesn’t affect me shouldn’t be any of my concern, or anyone else’s. Same-sex marriage, the Affordable Care Act, and abortion rights in Texas, among others, were all championed by the justice system and reasonable thinking.

Don’t get me wrong, the Affordable Care Act (ACA) needs some work, especially in the states that refused to assist its citizens by setting up a state marketplace. But, by and large, it was the right thing to do.  When I heard Ted Cruz signed his family up, I thought had you supported a state exchange in Texas, the prices would’ve been more reasonable – but Ted was against the ACA, vehemently if I remember correctly. Is that irony?

There’s been all kinds of racial incidents with the police. I was truly shocked and saddened by the church shooting in South Carolina.  The victims families handled it with such grace and dignity, from what I saw, though I have truly tried to limit my intake of the news lately.

Then there’s the escaped convict incident – I was surprised when someone said to me, regarding the first escaped convict’s shooting death, “I hope he had a gun, you know since he was white and all.“ (Not touching this one . . .) I can say so much, but just can’t right now. He WAS an escaped convict and he did have a shotgun.

I keep hearing all over the place that jobs are up and unemployment is down. I can’t help but ask myself, “Where the hell are they getting these numbers? Where are they looking?”  My husband is still unemployed, as are many others I know that are in my age group. And that’s just in my neck of the woods and what I hear from my contacts nationwide. I was working part-time, but my little part-time gig is about to come to a close in two weeks – no money coming in.

My daughter gave me a Starbucks gift card for Mother’s Day and I had one more coffee left on it and stopped in at my fav Starbucks, which is inside my grocery store, so I see the baristas frequently. The lady working that day is about my age and got laid off from her good job a year and a half ago. While we were chatting, she shared that they hired a new lady last week who’s real nice, has a Ph.D., but got laid off from a government contractor over a year ago and this is the only place she could get hired. She, of course, is in my age group, and is now making $7.56 an hour.

Does anyone realize what’s happening here . . . the age discrimination, much of it involving insurance coverage. The insurance companies HEAVILY influence hiring decisions, it’s not just the employers. I think we would be amazed at just what all the insurance companies have influence over!

Our age group has a huge effect on the economy with our traditional buying power. But many of us are living on our retirement savings 10-15 years before we are supposed to, and paying a penalty for it, though it is against our will and our better judgment – it’s done out of survival. Many were expecting to make up for lost years over the next decade and have nothing left to fall back on.

When cars are repossessed and houses are foreclosed on, and this group is now reduced to government aid to survive – more people now on what is often referred to as government “socialism” – this country’s backbone is going to begin to start to crack, splinter, and break.  And if these 50+ year-olds are unfortunate enough to not be able to afford COBRA or the ACA, many will fall into the category where they don’t fall into the age group that can get Medicaid or Medicare. People in this situation and age group are SOL and better hope/pray that nothing serious happens, or they could be most majorly screwed . . .

Though I will admit, I have not done my homework regarding the actual statistics; I can’t help but believe this is the one of the first times in history where fifty-plus-year-olds have been singled out to be extinguished from the workplace. (If I am wrong, please educate me!) If this trend continues, I see some serious hurt for the future of this country – I’m not an economist, but common sense and history tells the story that what may come is unprecedented and could be catastrophic.

ON A PERSONAL NOTE: Regarding my gig . . . well my instincts proved to be correct. Definitely too good to be true.  The guy I was working for isn’t too motivated, canceling every training session we had scheduled for really lame reasons like, “It’s been a rough day, I worked setting up your email, and I need a drink, so I’m outta here.” Or early one Saturday morning, “Sorry I cut out, my neighbor needed help and I said I would, not sure why ‘cause I’m usually not that neighborly.” You know that kind of stupid shit.

When it came to him selling policies to the appointments I made on these mostly 2-8 year-old leads, he canceled and we rescheduled a few for reasons that were not important. I had a list of about 35 people I had talked to that he needed to speak with for various reasons – high risk, specific questions not related to exact cost but involving health issues, etc. He finally got appointed to sell the high-risk policies he found were best and last Saturday he told me he was calling them all. When I showed up, he said he couldn’t call them because he had set up the online account to access what he needed to quote them prices, but forgot the password and wouldn’t be able to get it on a Saturday. Seriously . . .

Then when he told me a few days later he couldn’t afford to pay me any longer, but if I wanted I could still make calls and he would give me my commission – but he couldn’t afford to pay me for calling.Then he had the nerve to tell me that now he was really going to have to hustle and start working his book business. I’m thinking, dude, why haven’t you been doing that all along.

Long Term Care coverage is his specialty, but it is not cheap, typically. I’m working leads that are years old, and he had me listen to training tapes that were on cassettes and 20 years old – what does that tell you. During our discussion I reminded him that things have changed in the last 20 years – people don’t think the same, communicate the same, research purchases and purchase the same, and marketing and sales have changed considerably. Yeah, he didn’t want hear that – he’s four years younger than me and living in a bubble of some sort.

Anyway, now I have two avenues to explore – my established career, and my new inexperienced career. Maybe one of them will get me somewhere. It’s been two years – I need a break . . . a real one. I don’t consider any of this wasted time, as I have now learned many new things and have earned licenses and certifications in new areas.

Oh, and the fig tree is a monster producer. I have canned over 50 jars so far of various fig jams and preserves. It was fun and I think I have another two weeks or more. My kitchen is covered in figs in various stages of ripeness and jars everywhere – and I am growing weary!

Oh!! And what about that Bill Cosby – TV’s All American Dad and his fondness for Quaaludes, among other things?? Wow, so TV and real live aren’t the same?? (YES, I am laughing at that fucking piece of irony in the midst of all else . . .)

Anyway, just some things I was thinking about . . . (and my mind still reels, but this post is already wayyyy too long . . . but got something else coming soon  . . .)

Abortion and the Story of Becky Bell

I was replying to a comment from one of my wonderful readers today, and it made me think of a show I watched on TV many years ago in the 1990s. The series was called HBO Lifestories: Families in Crisis. These shows dealt with pressing issues in society involving kids, families, and communities. They were all based on true stories, with the real people involved interviewed at the end. I’m pretty sure I saw them all, but the one that hit me the hardest and I never forgot was “Public Law 106: The Becky Bell Story.”

Becky Bell was a senior in high school. She and her boyfriend, also a senior, were both good kids and both had earned scholarships to college. They came from good families, volunteered in their community, loved their parents, and loved each other. Naturally, as human beings do, they expressed their love for each other in many ways, including having sex.

Becky finds herself pregnant, though they had taken precautions. She and her boyfriend (I’m sorry, but I do not remember his name, but not because I did not find him important in the story) discuss what in the world they should do. Becky was close to turning 18, in just a matter of weeks, if I recall. Her boyfriend was already 18.

They loved each other and were planning on getting married, but they knew not only would this unplanned pregnancy possibly derail their college plans, but worse, what were their parents going to think. They discuss how disappointed their parents would be with their decision not to wait to have sex, as well as the fact that now a pregnancy has resulted and all their future dreams for their children changed. They decide, though they love each other, they cannot destroy their parents with this news – they cannot risk their parents’ disappointment, and loss of trust, respect, and love.

They decide a secret abortion is the way they must handle this. Though they are adults in some respects, they are also still just kids, trying to find their way, lacking experience and the skills to understand the consequences of their actions. Because Becky is not yet 18, and due to Indiana’s Public Law 106, she must either have her parent’s consent or get a judge’s permission. Again, telling her parents, in her mind, would be so devastating that she had to figure out how to do this without them knowing. The judge would not grant her permission, insisting Becky speak with her parents. Becky & her boyfriend decide there is no way on earth they can tell their parents.

Becky can ask to see another judge, but since time is of the essence, it would take too long to get on another docket. She heard about a place that did them illegally, across the state line if I recall. Regardless, she takes a bus several hours away to have the procedure, and then takes the bus back to where she parked her car. Once she returns home, she is obviously not well, running a fever.

The next day, she is still quite ill, yet tells her mother there is no need to go to the doctor, she just has the flu or something. At one point she gets up to go the bathroom, and there is blood all over her bed. Not knowing any better, she thinks she is having her period, so a doctor would not know she had been pregnant.

As she gets out of bed, and staggers to the bathroom door, she shouts, “Ok, mom, I’ll go to the doctor, if you want.” Then she collapses on the floor. Her parents find her, she is rushed to the hospital, where she subsequently DIES. A beautiful, smart, caring, loving young woman with great promise loses her life. This family loses their daughter, and I am sure felt full of blame, as well as the young man who was in love with her.

As I am watching this, my four-year-old daughter is playing within eyeshot. As I look at her, I think – This could’ve been me. This could’ve been any of my friends. This could be my daughter someday. On that thought, I cried as if I knew Becky Bell personally. I’m sorry, but to me it was personal. The thought of anyone losing their daughter this way was soul-wrenchingly horrifying to me.

Should Becky have talked to her parents – yes certainly she should have. BUT she didn’t. Should she have been having sex as a teenager in high school – probably not, but do you actually remember what it was like to be a teenager? Right wrong good bad – they do it – it’s human nature.  Should she have died for these mistakes, poor decisions, and short-comings? Absolutely not!!

I am not trying to change your mind about your beliefs, just hoping you realize women who find themselves in positions where they feel this is the only choice they can make at the time for whatever reason – these women are not murderers, nor are they happy or thrilled, or remotely proud or comfortable with their decisions. They do, however, feel that they are backed into a corner with no other solution – desperate. EVEN if there was a better solution, they didn’t see it at the time! Have we not all been short-sighted at some point in time?

Do I agree with them – maybe not. But I will not call them sinners.

I am not perfect, and I can be on occasion judgmental – but I am not God and it is not my job to approve of or forgive these women for what many call a sin. This is why I am pro-choice. This is why I do not think middle-aged men in suits should make healthcare and life-changing decisions for women, particularly women they do not know.

Walk a mile in their shoes first – and let thee who has not sinned cast that first stone.

They are all somebody’s daughters.

I don’t know – just something I was thinking about . . .

The Democrats I Know

I am absolutely fascinated and surprised at just how much I have learned about my friends and acquaintances via their Facebook (FB) posts. Like many people, my FB friends consist of family, current good friends, friends I don’t see often, and friends from high school and college. I was a teenager in the late seventies and grew up in a pretty progressive area. Partying was prevalent – smoking pot, drinking, and many other drugs were involved. From what I can tell the majority of us grew up just fine and are productive members of society, some having done some pretty cool things. We were all what we considered hippies back then; sex, drugs, and rock and roll was our mantra – being the pre-herpes, pre-AIDs, pre-crack, pre-meth days. Well fast forward 30 years, and I am generally shocked at how many of my friends are raging Republicans. Today one of my FB friends, someone I spent a lot of time with growing up as we lived in the same small neighborhood for a while, as well as went through school together, shared a post stating the top 10 reasons people vote Democrat. This post listed things like:

  • Democrats believe they are too irresponsible to own a gun and that the police can protect them well enough.  
  • Democrats believe in marrying anyone they want, and can now marry their German shepherds.
  • Democrats aren’t concerned about millions of babies being aborted, but want to keep all death row inmates alive and comfy.

Though more reasons were listed, I stopped there, probably because many of these same people that are now Republicans either had abortions or had a girlfriend that had one. I know this because that kind of thing was kept from what we called “the People” aka our parents, but it usually got around with your good friends and your clique. Come on, everybody gossiped. I don’t know why that thought popped in my head, but it did. Maybe because I can’t help but wonder about so many things, though I know people change as they get older, more mature and more experienced.

Though I am an Independent, I have voted for many Democrats. I have voted for many Independents, Libertarian and Green party members, and some Republicans, too. Though I believe in God, and believe marriage is between a man and woman, I also have no problems with my gay friends or family members wanting to be married, civil union, whatever you call it. There’s the problem – half the time it’s a matter of semantics. But that’s another story for another time. Having said that, I do not believe in people marrying their dogs, nor do my Democratic friends.

I believe in the right to own a gun, and I have had a few. I do not have a problem with background checks, and have been through them not only to buy a gun, but to get a few jobs. They have been registering guns for years, so it’s not like this is exactly new. I would not be honest though if I did not tell you that I do have issues with the government having so much information about us, and worry that this could become problematic someday. Many of my friends who are Democrats are gun owners and believe in this right. I also have a few Republican friends that are totally anti-gun.

Getting back to the abortion issue, typically no one is pro-abortion. They are pro-choice. Meaning they do not think middle-aged men in suits should make healthcare and life-changing decisions for women, particularly women they do not know. The thought of any woman feeling so desperate (for  whatever reason) as to end a pregnancy, and then having to do it in unhealthy, unsanitary conditions, possibly destroying any chances they have for future children is unacceptable to some. Quite frankly, that is unacceptable to me. I had so many girlfriends who had abortions in the late 1970s and 1980s, some more than one. I can just imagine how many of them would have had different outcomes if their options had been different. Many of them would have sought out that procedure regardless, and would’ve ended up in some back alley-like hellhole. Many of them might not have the beautiful children and grandchildren they have now. Would that have been a righteous punishment for a mistake made as a young person finding their way in the world? I am not saying abortion is the right solution to an unwanted pregnancy, but what I am saying is that is a decision that the woman facing that dilemma should be able to make by herself with her healthcare professional. Many of my Democrat friends are pro-life opponents. I also have some pro-choice friends who are Republicans.

Last but not least, I do not think anyone I know believes that all death row inmates should be kept alive and comfy, regardless of their political opinion – but they do want to make sure the person on death row is actually guilty.

I just wanted to shed some light on how some of the Democrats and Republicans I know think about these particular subjects. I have much more I would like to address, but this is enough for today.

Just something I was thinking about . . .