Monthly Archives: August 2014

Young Fearless Free Spirit

Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: young, old, or anything to do with age. 

When I was young I was fearless! I mean really truly fearless and as wild and free-spirited as an unbroken pony. As I got older, and had my child, my mindset changed. I was now responsible for another life, one that was helpless and knew nothing. I was also responsible for ensuring that I kept myself healthy and safe, as this new little person was dependent on me for everything.

As she got older, I must admit, I got even more cautious, as the world became a scarier place than when I was a child. I had a great many fears and concerns about the world and how it might affect my child.

Now my child is an adult, and she has two little girls, and I am even more concerned about their future as the world continues to change in ways I do not feel comfortable with. There are way too many bad things and bad people out there, especially for two little innocent babies.

Being unemployed and having no health insurance has made me even more vigilant and cautious about the things I do and the places and situations I put myself in. I have a lot more to lose than I did in my 20s and 30s.

My husband and I laugh sometimes because my daughter thinks I am so over-protective. She has no idea what a free spirit I used to be! I think she would be shocked, if she had any idea!

I’m also getting weary of holding my tongue, something I never did when I was younger, but once I hit my 40s, realized it was better not to say everything I was thinking – some people don’t appreciate honesty and bluntness. But after so many years of holding my tongue, sometimes I feel like there’s a rug on my back and people are just wiping their feet on it . . . (Maybe one of the many reasons I started blogging!!)

Next month, in a couple weeks as a matter of fact, I will have a birthday – turning 53 this year. I can honestly say that I certainly am feeling the years. Things creak and crack a lot, and some of my hand strength has diminished. I have been so cautious for so long, I feel a wild hair burning in my soul and I am chomping at the bit to do something a little crazy, a little wild, a bit spontaneous. I can feel that fire burning inside me.

Something’s coming – maybe something unexpected, maybe not, who knows, but . . . I can feel it!!

Just something I was thinking about  (unedited 😉 ) . . . ☮


What Was He Thinking??

Watching the news today – I know, it’s always an experience and often entertaining, and it has been a few days since I’ve watched any because I had to check out for awhile – and as I’m listening, the reporter starts talking about the color of President Obama’s suit at a news conference yesterday. It was tan, or what some would call taupe. Seriously, I’m not shitting you. I saw it, of course you know they had to show it, and it was a nice suit; I saw nothing wrong with it. (I haven’t seen the news conference yet, wasn’t engaged yesterday and have been busy today – but I will find it and watch it.)

Those that know me know I am not a fashion icon by any means, BUT come on people – with all the problems in the world, in our country and in our own lives – does the color of his suit really matter? Am I just an idiot for thinking it doesn’t??

Then one of my Facebook friends commented that some news reporter/commentator went on to chastise saying – after mentioning the suit debacle, of course – that President Obama stated that first he wanted to say something about some revised numbers on the economy, like real Americans cared about that after the beheading of James Foley and ISIS concerns. Then the president went on to say that we don’t have a strategy for ISIS.

Now I am a real American, and for the first time in decades, I have been unemployed for 15 months. I’m living off my retirement money and I have at least 15 years until I can retire. So I do care about the economy. That is most important to me at this moment. Having said that, what we ALL better be concerned about is that we don’t have a strategy to deal with ISIS, and if that’s not bad enough, now the whole world knows. The whole world also knows that those crazy ass Americans are in an uproar about the president’s suit color, not that their military has no plan.

Oh my goodness – as I am writing this, just heard the news reporting the color of Obama’s suit was the top trend on Twitter. That, my friends, is exactly why this country and maybe some other parts of the world are in the shape they are in. Look at the shit the “important people” – the communicators, the decision makers, the money makers/spenders, the policy makers – are focusing on. What the fuck is wrong with you people?!?

Okay – I am so not related to these people, I can tell you  . . .

I’m curious what y’all think about this, too.

Anyway just something I was thinking about it . . . and felt the need to rant about 😉

The Uzi Nightmare

I am so sorry for that poor nine-year old girl who accidentally shot her range master/shooting instructor with an Uzi automatic submachine gun. This tragic accident happened at an Arizona popular tourist attraction called Bullets and Burgers (really??). They also broke their own rules, as shooters are supposed to be at least 10-years old. What in the world were they thinking when they all allowed this to happen. Someone with experience (like the range masters) should have been aware of the inherent danger of this activity.

The chief deputy for the Mohave County Attorney’s Office stated he did not fault the parents as they had placed their trust in the range master. I’m sorry, but I do fault the parents, as well as the range master and his establishment. THEY ALL should have known better than to allow this young girl to handle one of the most powerful weapons made. To me, this is nothing short of child endangerment.   A nine-year old girl does not have the physical strength to control the recoil of a weapon like that.

I am a supporter of gun rights and I taught my child to shoot as a teenager, not a nine-year old child. I am an excellent shot and handle my weapons well and responsibly. I have owned .32-caliber, .44-caliber magnum and .357-caliber revolvers; .380-caliber, .40-caliber and many 9mm semi-automatic pistols throughout my lifetime. I have shot an assault rifle (AR) a few times, but it is different and a bit larger (than an Uzi) and I shot it with it set up on a table on the mounting legs attached to it.

I have also shot an Uzi. I will tell you, when I fired the Uzi, I got off quite a few rounds, but at some point the gun got away from me, as a result of the recoil. Being experienced, I was able to control my weapon enough to allow it to go angle up, as opposed to some where else. Once I got my finger out of the trigger guard, and my arms and the gun out of the air, my husband and his cousin told me to finish the clip. I have to be honest, as excited as I had been to shoot this particular weapon, I declined to finish emptying the clip, telling them if I can’t control my weapon, I don’t have any desire to shoot it. I have never shot another Uzi since.

I am so shocked, saddened and heartbroken for that little girl who now has to live with this horrible accident that should have never happened. She has to live with the fact that she has killed another human being. I can’t help but wonder if she really even wanted to shoot that gun, or was it her parents who wanted it. (I say that because the first time my child shot a pistol, she wasn’t thrilled and we didn’t do it again for a few years until she was ready mentally.)

People get a clue – gun rights come with responsibility. Obviously, no one was acting in a responsible manner that day, and because of it, someone’s son (maybe someone’s husband or father or brother, not sure as I couldn’t find that info) didn’t make it home that night. Army veteran Charles Vacca, the range master, managed to survive tours in Iraq and Afghanistan to come home and be killed in such an irresponsible act of stupidity. It just doesn’t get any more tragic than this . . .

The names of the scarred-for-life little girl and her parents have not been released, but the video of the accident is all over the news and the Internet. I did hear on the news that this establishment has decided to change it age requirement to 12 years of age. I’m curious what others think about children shooting guns, particularly weapons of this type.

Just something I was thinking about . . .

Honest Deception – poetry


As February has 31 days

And the Sun circles the Earth ten different ways

Each morning the sun rises in the west

And your last guess is always the best

Remember people never lie

And if you live righteously you’ll never die

Being in love always lasts forever

Will the good times end – oh no never

People will always love each other

No one will ever kill another’s brother


I wrote this back in April in response to NaPoWriMo prompt from Daisy Fried, – the basic idea was to write a ten-line poem in which each line is a lie. It seemed appropriate for today and I needed a break from all the seriousness – spent half the day watching the Ferguson, MO press briefings and the likes. It’s a mess there for sure! I think I threatened to post a poem on here at some point, too 😉 Don’t worry, I won’t be posting too many poems in this forum! Hope you liked it and if not, well, please be kind LOL 😉

Anyway . . . just something I was thinking about . . .

Some Days I Just Breathe

I’ve been listening to this song lately, probably because right now I am having trouble making sense of so many things – things in my personal life and events and happenings in my own country and in the world at large. I have said this before, the world is a scary place. Most times, life is never easy. People’s thought processes and actions and reactions continue to confound me. Sometimes as I write this blog, it’s not so much to share MY opinions, but to get insight from you, my readers and others I follow, as to how to make sense of it all. Are you as confused (and concerned) as I am?

The racial tensions in Ferguson, Missouri, are troubling. I saw a town meeting today on one of the news channels, and it was pretty apparent, to me anyway, that the governor of Missouri is totally in over his head and has very little control over the situation due to  a lack of trust from his constituents.

The crowd kept asking why the police officer involved, Darren Wilson, hadn’t been arrested yet. I do not know all the details of the Michael Brown shooting, but in all honesty I don’t believe a week is long enough to investigate it, all the while dealing with the protesters and rioting. Just being realistic here.

I know the cops aren’t always the good guys, though I was raised to believe that they were. I also know sometimes kids are ignorant and immature and do stupid and crazy-ass things. I did (not stuff like robbery but still really cocky , thoughtless, careless and stupid stuff) and I am not that person anymore. Unfortunately these days, we can’t be sure if some dumb-ass punk  (AKA young adult or teenager totally not acting in an age-appropriate morally and socially acceptable way) is going to try and kill us when they act stupid.

IF this kid acted towards the cop the way he did toward the store clerk he robbed, I can understand why the outcome was what it was. In all honesty, if that was my store and I had a concealed handgun license, I might have shot him myself when he doubled back and came back into the store rushing me, after pushing past me to get out and make a run for it. Pretty sure as big as he was and as small as I am, I would have felt threatened. Shit, what is wrong with kids today?

They are doing a second independent autopsy to confirm the findings. I am sure that is going to answer a few questions. {Man I love science!} Then again maybe not. They’re also continuing to investigate the robbery. I hope they do an honest and thorough investigation of this entire case. I hope the people of Ferguson can find some closure soon.

A curfew was to begin tonight – just checked the news, and it is not going well. Protesters and others are not getting off the streets and looting is going on. Peacefully protesting I understand, looting, definitely NOT. I can only say, with the way the situation continues to escalate, I hope no one else gets killed.

ISIS – now I do not even know where to begin with these radical killing machines. Their ideology and attitudes and mind-set are beyond me. I certainly comprehend it, but for the life of me, can’t understand it. My husband and I watched some 30 minute piece CNN ran with a reporter embedded on the mountain with the Yazidis, flying in on a supply drop helicopter. It was truly horrific what these people are going through, AND we didn’t see any of the really bad stuff – but I can just imagine . . .

What is going on over there has to be stopped. I don’t know what they need to do, or even actually WHO “they” are. But collectively, all of these leaders have got to get on the same page against ISIS and figure out how to take them out. Warring between themselves is bad enough, but this is a whole new enemy. And I know this sounds really bad, but between everyone involved, they ought to be able to figure out a resolution. I’ve said this before, when Syria, Iran, and Iraq are asking for us to help them, it’s some bad shit.

I’ve already talked about Ebola and it’s getting worse.

In light of all that, I got my own stuff nipping at my heals, too. Some days are longer than others. Music (though I can’t play it – or sing it 😉 ) is a staple in my life – kind of like breathing. On that note – yeah pun intended – I like to start my day with this one . . . here’s to you . . . with blessings from above . . .

Just something I was thinking about . . . ☮

Political Incorrectness – a little comedy

So, no one would ever accuse me of being a conservative, and not sure the liberals would claim me either 🙂 I am definitely independent, and all that that entails – though they’d probably say I was too radical for them ;-).

I know there’s some bad shit going on in the world right now – all over . . . war, genocide, Ebola, sanctioning left and right, more impending war, economies and their people struggling. I typically do not do a lot of what some might call comedy on this blog, or even a lot of personal stuff per say. Having said that, I needed a break from all this depressing reality. So, here’s a little light comedy in the form of a parody.

This in no way means I think we should be making fun of our government, especially right now when the world is going to hell in a hand-basket, but . . . this was just too damn funny not to share.

I found this video on Facebook. I laughed my ass off!! Watch this as a parody/comedy, not as a political piece, for it’s full hilariousness! I did NOT post this as a political piece – I posted it because it reminded me of Saturday Night Live, if you want to know the truth 🙂 I DON’T care what party you align with, you gotta find this shit funny and right now I think we could all use a laugh!!

Just something I was thinking about . . . (that & having a sense of humor & being able to laugh at ourselves when things are frightening, uncertain, stressful!) ~ ☮ ~

Sometimes the Monsters are Real – Ebola


I have said before that I think the world is a scary place. There’s a lot of bad shit going on right now. The largest EBOLA outbreak in history, happening in West Africa, has caused me some alarm.

Now I first learned about Ebola back in 1994 when I read “The Hot Zone,” written by Richard Preston. This is an incredibly compelling, horrifying read. I started the book one evening after putting my daughter to bed, and stayed up until about 4:00 a.m. to finish it because I literally could not put it down – I found it to be absolutely riveting. This would be some of the best horror/science fiction ever written, except for the fact that it is real. If you haven’t read it, you might want to just to be enlightened (or scared shitless!).

With global travel what it is, and the ways AIDS spread, I have always worried about Ebola and Marburg viruses. Except for a case back in 1989, involving monkeys, I don’t believe Ebola has ever been reported in the U.S. – though I could be wrong about that.

Several U.S. national labs have samples of the Ebola virus and are working to create a vaccination. Yesterday they flew one of two American health care workers who have gotten the virus to Atlanta, Georgia. That hasn’t gone over to well with many Americans. I have pretty mixed feelings about it myself, because quite frankly, IT FREAKS ME OUT!! This is a nasty, and I mean nasty disease and a horrifying way to die. Not trying to be a fear-monger like the mainstream media usually is, all the time freaking people out to go and do – translate BUY – something, but this is some frightening shit.

I do believe they would get better treatment here in the states and I know the hospital in Atlanta has planned and trained for this exact mission, or one similar. (Isn’t that the saying – plan, train, fly?) And I am sure this exposure will provide many opportunities for many things – good and bad. Yeah, I’m a realist. They can study, dissect/DNA map/etc., and try to find a vaccination, maybe even discover something to help cure those who have it. They can also use this experience to intermingle this new strain with the samples they have, I’m assuming. They could do a lot of things with that – lots of research. I’m not a healthcare professional, but I do find all things medical fascinating.

I think the virus has up to a 21-day incubation period. I worry someone is going to expose others, maybe not even anyone working at the Emory University Hospital, but a healthcare worker from that part of the world traveling to other parts. Those in charge seem to think they can contain the virus and prevent the risk of the virus spreading. I hope they are right, because it only takes one unidentified infected person to spread this virus globally, and under the right conditions this is a ticking time bomb – especially in highly and densely populated areas.

I don’t know – there are a lot of worrisome things going on right now. I wonder, has it always been this bad and scary out there and I just wasn’t paying attention, OR is it really worse . . . or both I would imagine . . .

Anyway, what do you think about this Ebola crisis? Have you read the book I mentioned? Does a disease that can, for lack of a better term, liquefy organs and cause one to bleed out from various orifices in their body cause you any alarm? Damn, am I overreacting?

Just something I was thinking about . . .