Young Fearless Free Spirit


Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: young, old, or anything to do with age. 

When I was young I was fearless! I mean really truly fearless and as wild and free-spirited as an unbroken pony. As I got older, and had my child, my mindset changed. I was now responsible for another life, one that was helpless and knew nothing. I was also responsible for ensuring that I kept myself healthy and safe, as this new little person was dependent on me for everything.

As she got older, I must admit, I got even more cautious, as the world became a scarier place than when I was a child. I had a great many fears and concerns about the world and how it might affect my child.

Now my child is an adult, and she has two little girls, and I am even more concerned about their future as the world continues to change in ways I do not feel comfortable with. There are way too many bad things and bad people out there, especially for two little innocent babies.

Being unemployed and having no health insurance has made me even more vigilant and cautious about the things I do and the places and situations I put myself in. I have a lot more to lose than I did in my 20s and 30s.

My husband and I laugh sometimes because my daughter thinks I am so over-protective. She has no idea what a free spirit I used to be! I think she would be shocked, if she had any idea!

I’m also getting weary of holding my tongue, something I never did when I was younger, but once I hit my 40s, realized it was better not to say everything I was thinking – some people don’t appreciate honesty and bluntness. But after so many years of holding my tongue, sometimes I feel like there’s a rug on my back and people are just wiping their feet on it . . . (Maybe one of the many reasons I started blogging!!)

Next month, in a couple weeks as a matter of fact, I will have a birthday – turning 53 this year. I can honestly say that I certainly am feeling the years. Things creak and crack a lot, and some of my hand strength has diminished. I have been so cautious for so long, I feel a wild hair burning in my soul and I am chomping at the bit to do something a little crazy, a little wild, a bit spontaneous. I can feel that fire burning inside me.

Something’s coming – maybe something unexpected, maybe not, who knows, but . . . I can feel it!!

Just something I was thinking about  (unedited 😉 ) . . . ☮

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30 thoughts on “Young Fearless Free Spirit

  1. “Something’s coming – maybe something unexpected, maybe not, who knows, but . . . I can feel it!!” Well, whatever it is, I hope you let it happen…and that it’s not just something you are thinking about.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. “Shields UP! Red Alert! Ready Phasers and Photon Torpedoes! ”

    “What do sensors show Mr. Warf?”

    “Not identifiable yet Captain, but Something’s Coming – maybe something unexpected.”

    “On Screen Mr. Data.”

    [A small speck appears on screen, gradually growing larger]

    “Any identification Mr. Warf?”

    “No sir, it is not like anything we’ve ever seen before.”

    “Counsoller Troy to the Bridge”

    ‘On my way Captain.”

    “Captain?”

    “I want to see if she can sense any life forms aboard the vessel Number One.”

    “Perhaps it is a life form and not a vessel Captain.”

    “Good thinking Number One.”

    “I think we should name it, Captain, for easier reference.”

    “What would you suggest Number One?”

    “Spacially Anomalous Deep Interstellar Extraterrestrial – or SADIE for short”

    “Very well then.Sadie it is. So then to recap what we know, Sadie is coming and will bring to us something completely unexpected and never before encountered by humanity.”

    “Yes Sir.”

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Paul – if only these words could express the gleaming smile across my face!! I laughed & couldn’t wipe the grin off 🙂 I don’t believe I have ever been so honored before – you, sir, are an awesome writer!!! 😉 I always look forward to your visits & I will consider this an early birthday present!!
      [My husband liked it, too – he agreed when I said you should be writing a blog 🙂 )

      I can only hope I “bring … something completely unexpected and never before encountered by humanity.” (My husband always said God locked up the mold when he made me so he would never forget what he did LOL!)

      Seriously – thank you so much for this – it truly meant a lot ☮ (I even printed it to hang it on my desk 🙂 )

      Totally made my day ❤ 🙂

      Like

  3. I know just what you mean — I did things in my twenties that I shudder just thinking about. Other than the fact I’m lucky just to have survived, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. But you’re right – responsibility makes us more cautious. I sometimes wonder if the world is a worse place now, or if we’re just more aware of it. Could me a combination.
    Thanks for joining in 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I know quite a few women who, at some point after crossing 50 (“the new 40?”), changed jobs, got their first tattoo or went for a skydive. Good luck, whatever you pick! What have you always dreamed of, but never thought you’d actually do?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi WS – my 50s were flying along pretty good, then the jobs dried up. Have found myself in some unfamiliar territory. But I am working it out (trying to think outside my normal box) and have had time for much self-reflection. I do know if my money situation changed, my ass would be driving that damn sports car I’ve always wanted. I DO like to drive fast – not top end, just 0-60 mph 😉

      I hope this blog is helping me get to something I have always dreamed of doing 🙂 As always, enjoy your visits!

      Like

  5. I used to have a motorcycle. As soon as we had our first kid, my wife refused to go on the motorcycle anymore. Too dangerous. Eventually, I stopped riding too. Of course, now that my kids are all grown up and out on their own, I’m thinking about, once again, getting a motorcycle. Or possibly a motor-scooter. Or perhaps a bicycle. Or maybe I’ll just keep walking.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Doobster – we have a Harley sitting in the garage just waiting for us to have health insurance again. My husband & I love to ride! [We rode before our child, but quit until she graduated 🙂 ] BUT I have seen the difference in how people with health insurance are treated & those without it, besides the money factor, & that is not a risk I am wiling to take with all the crazy ass drivers out there. Just another sacrifice we are making at this point in our lives . . . but we’re still breathing 😉 so it’s all good!

      I know many people even older than us that ride. My dad still rides and he is in his 70s. He now has a side car for his wife, as it’s more comfy for her & it’s easier to control for him.

      Having said all that, it’s not inherently safe, but it sure is fun!!! 🙂
      Always glad when you visit!

      Like

  6. And I´m turning 33 this year, the same age Jesus died! So you only got 20 up on me, you´re a young women what are you doing over in Texas….get back here. And yes, you do seem to be quite overprotective of your loved ones and too scared about the world. And yes, I think your daughter would be quite amazed at how free spirited you where not so long time ago, hell even me I´m scared to know all the details……although I wouldn´t mind knowing them 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Charley – to know what I know now & be 33 again – damn I would be a dangerous woman 😉
      The world does scare me, but I am also painfully aware that there’s not much I can do to change it. I just do my best to be informed & aware & enjoy the rest. Not much else I can do. You ever see the movie “Footloose” with Kevin Bacon? There’s a line in it where the minister says “… fraught with genuine peril.” I used to use that line on my kid all the time when she’d ask to do something LOL!!! It became one of our family jokes 😉
      YES my daughter would be quite amazed . . . I have let one or two things slip when we have had drinks together, but there are quite a few things I would be fine going to my grave with that she never know 🙂
      I am still young & though it was a while back, some of those memories do seem like yesterday 🙂
      Maybe one day I’l write my memoirs . . . not 😉
      Always good to hear from you!

      Like

      1. “fraught with genuine peril”…is that what you told your daughter growing up, I don´t even know how she turned out to be a normal citizen……

        Anyways, you could write your memories and show them to me. Specially anything related to sex, I promise I will take it to my grave with me.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. “Mom, I want to go to the beach this weekend.”
    Me: “OH no, it’s 4th of July, it will be packed, the traffic will be really bad and lots of drunks. That situation sounds fraught with peril to me, honey. I don’t think so.”
    EYEROLL – “Mother, OMG it will be fine. Seriously mom,fraught with peril???”
    We both laugh. Sometimes she went, sometimes she didn’t – depended on the situation & my mood. It’s what’s called Mother’s Prerogative (& intuition, which for me went a long way 😉 )!!!
    And she turned out just fine, thank you 🙂

    Like

    1. Thanks Moi! I appreciate your kind words – thanks for reading & commenting! Thanks for the follow, too! I want to check out your blog, as well 🙂
      [Sorry it’s taken me so long to respond – somehow this one got by me . . .]

      Like

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